The "Straight" and Narrow

In Mormon theology we are taught that there is a figurative straight and narrow path that we need to follow in order to achieve exhalation and be with our families forever.  The Maxwell institute had an interesting article on the use of the word straight.  The pun involved in the phrase is not lost on me or other gay Mormons I'm sure.
The church culture and perhaps also some doctrine has made it clear that this straight and narrow path is synonymous with a plot line that the church lays out for it's members.  This plot involves:
Being born "into the covenant" (This is a bonus)
Being baptized into the church
(for young men)
Receiving the Priesthood
Deacon- avoid girls and be a good boy.
Teacher- avoid girls and be a good boy.
Priest- avoid girls and be a good boy.
Elder- avoid girls and be a good boy.
MISSION!!!!!
Get married and bear children unto the Lord!
(For young women)
Be a good girl
Be a good girl
Be a good girl
Be a good girl
Get married and bear children unto the Lord!! :)
No, really! Get married and bear children unto the Lord!! :)
Oh, you didn't get married? Go on a mission then, and we'll pray for you until you can get married and bear children unto the lord!! :)

For those like myself, or wonderful women who haven't had a chance to get married or countless other members, this plot is difficult to reconcile.  We don't fit into the plot no matter how hard we try, and therefore, we have fallen from the straight and narrow and if we aren't careful the mists of darkness will swallow us up.

Maybe it is just me trying to find peace, but I think this is ridiculous.  I think this life is more like a spider web. We are trying to get to the center, but there are countless paths you can take to get there.  As long as your heart is in the right place, why would this very rigid and specific plot determine your exhalation?
My path is different, but I don't feel it is any less likely that I can be with God again.
The straight and narrow?  I'm on the gay and wide.